Ever vigilant Attorney General Eric Holder today announced that 'depansing' had been added to the Administration's Nanny initiative as a federal crime.
Depansing becomes an crime in the same shameful category as bullying, extorting lunch money and casting mean looks at youthful peers, which were enacted as federal felonies soon after the President's term began.
"I don't know how we missed this one", said Holder. "It is certainly as harmful to the development of children as any of the previous offenses we were alert enough to outlaw. Perhaps we have been preoccupied with government run, er, I mean, health care reform."
Holder made his remarks flanked be several school-aged children, whose faces were covered with Spiderman masks. "Their shame is palpable", said Holder.
As with all nanny laws, the government not only throws its judicial weight against the perpetrators of these heinous crimes, but pays for psychological therapy for the victims.
"There are hundreds of thousands of former victims of this vicious crime", said Holder. He reminded that the Administration's efforts to extend benefits to former victims, many of them seniors, was hung up in Congress due to opposition from the vast, right wing conspiracy.
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